Example #1
"Dear Joey and Amanda,
I promise to honor your separate relationships with your Mom and Dad at all times. I promise to remember I am not your Mother, and I cannot replace her. I promise to be fair, and to treat you in the way you deserve to be treated. I ask the same of you. I ask you to remember my feelings, as I will try hard to remember yours, at all times. I ask you to see me as your friend, your Father's wife, and the mother of your new brothers and sisters. If we have problems, I ask you to come to me and try to work them out, and let me know when you need me to do the same. I ask for your respect, and I will treat you with respect in return. I promise to remember that we not only share a house, we share each other's home and family. I promise to love you, protect you, and care for you as if you were my own children. Thank-you for letting me into your family. I look forward to the happy times we will have in the years to come. Today, we become one family and I celebrate and honor our new relationship. I love you."
After each parent makes their vows to the children, the children can make vows to the adults. The children's vows will mean more if they come from the heart, but here is an example,
"Dear Cathy,
Your love has made our Dad very happy. Because we love our Dad, we welcome you into our family and into our home. We know it isn't easy for you to come into a family in the middle. We promise to be fair, and to treat you in the way you deserve to be treated. We ask you to remember our feelings, as we will try hard to remember yours, as well. We ask you to see us as your husband's children, and accept that we have a very special bond with him. If we have problems, we ask you to come to us and try to work them out, and let us know when you need us to do the same. We ask for your respect, and we will treat you with respect in return. We promise to remember that we not only share a house, we share each other's home and family. We promise to respect you and care about you, and remember how much our Dad loves you, too. Thank-you for loving our Dad, and for loving us, as well. Today, we become one family and we celebrate and honor our new relationship. We love you."
Officiant: Today you not only commit to one another, you begin a new family. Family does not consist of blood ties alone, but is bonded in love, respect and commitment. A family created by choice can be as strong or even stronger than a family generated by blood.
Amy (name of person marrying the parent), as you have made promises to Jack, you also enter a covenant
with Joe. Do you have a symbol of this promise?
BRIDE or GROOM:
I do.
<Stepchild joins them.>
Officiant: Amy, please repeat after me:
I will always treat you with love and respect. I promise to be there for you in any way I can. I promise to support your relationships with both your mother and father. I will always treat your father with love and respect. We will model for you a healthy, loving and supportive relationship with faith that one day you too will find such happiness in love.
Officiant: May I have the ring please? Amy, as you place this ring on your stepchild's finger, please repeat after me. "While I am neither a peer nor your parent by birth, I pledge my friendship, love and loyalty in kinship."
Officiant: Mike, do you have a promise of love and devotion to Conrad and Griffin?
Mike: Conrad, Griffin I promise to be there as a friend to you, to protect you, support you and comfort you. I promise to love you all the days of my life.
(If the children are old enough, and would like to say this back to the new step-parent, they can do that as well.)
New spouse says to beloved and his/her children:
"As we become one on this day, we become part of each other, your feelings become my feelings; your sorrows become my sorrows; your joys become myjoys; your worries become my worries and your children become my children. I promise to be a true and faithful wife. I promise to be a true and faithful parent and friend to Cameron, Erin and Patrick, always there to comfort and rejoice with you all and endure all the complexities of life that we will
face together as a family in the years to come. My love for you, Gregg, and the children is pure and unshakable and I hereby commit myself to all of you from this day forward and always and forever. I love you and love the children with all my heart."
Family Vows and Marriage Vows Combined:
I (name), take you now, in the holy presence of God and the assembled
gathering, to be my (wife/husband). With this honourable vow, I make a
solemn promise to always be by your side in times of good and the bad, joy
and difficulties. I also promise to comfort you, delight you, whenever I
can, and love you always. I promise to cherish you with all my love and
affection, till we breathe our last breath.
I (name), also promise to be a loving, dedicated, and patient
(father/mother) to (children’s name/s), caring and providing for their
health and happiness as my own. I pledge to be their source of inspiration,
support in times of trouble and challenge, and as good a (father/mother)
that I can be. I promise to love them too, as we travel this adventure
together.
Example #6
Another option is for the parent/s to directly address each child with a dedication as below:
(Children/s name/s), I promise to accept and love you as my own and to
protect and love you all of my life. I promise to do my best to guide and
support you - and to respect you enough to allow you to see the world
through your own eyes, feel the world with your own heart and hands, and to
hear words of kindness and love from your (mother/father) and me each day.
Example #7
Officiant says:
Do you, (Bride/Groom) take (name of partner’s children) to care for,
encourage and love as your own, for so long as you may live?
The child/ren may then offer his/her/their own affirmation in response.
Example #8
Officiant to parents:
There are children who will share in this marriage. The gathering of this
new family will have a deep influence upon them. It will both complicate and
enrich their lives. Children will have much to contribute to this new
family. In order for the home to be a happy one, it is essential that there
be love and understanding between the children and the two people who have
pledged their commitment to each other here today. (Bride and Groom), is
your love for each other broad enough to include (child/ren) and deep enough
to honour (their/her/his) presence in this marriage? Do you pledge
yourselves to love and care for (child/ren’s names)?
Bride and Groom affirm this vow.
Officiant speaks to children:
(Child/ren’s names), you are a vital part of this new marriage. (Bride) and
(Groom) give you their unconditional love and honour your presence in their
lives. (Child/ren’s names), you will have a share in this union, for your
(life/lives) will be touched by the covenant being made here today. You have
an important part to play in the happiness of this new family.
As (Bride) and (Groom) have exchanged their pledges in sacred union, we ask
from you (child/ren’s names) to also offer a promise: that you will join
together to create a home where there you each help and support each other,
and a way of life in which all of you may grow into the fullness of the best
people you can be. Will you now promise to do your best to help make a happy
and successful home for all of you by your love and cooperation?"
Child/Children affirm the vow.
(Presentation of the Family Medallion usually follows the pronouncement of the couple as husband and wife. A complete ceremony comes with each Family Medallion order.)
Officiant: Often we think of a wedding as the union of two people. In reality, it is much broader. It is a coming together of families...
Family Medallion Presentation: Two merged circles often symbolize love. The Family Medallion has three circles to represent love that reaches out to include others...
Parent's pledge: In presenting (this/these) Family Medallion(s), we pledge to you our continuing love always.
Family Prayer: We give thanks, O Lord, for the relationship here celebrated. We are humbled by the recognition that today we face a new future, one where love is unfolding before our very eyes...
Note about re-marriage after death of spouse and parent:
If death or great sadness has been the essence of the previous relationship, it can be useful to acknowledge - with due permission from the couple and in a subtle way - the emotion for the children at the passing of the previous relationship. For example the celebrant may say: (Name), for your own children, (children’s names), this is a special day as well. This union brings together your two families, drawing as one the wisdom of many lives. A new tradition is about to unfold, and you will all be authors of that story. These new chapters in your life will not erase that which has gone before, as we all grow richer for life’s experiences, the happy and the sad.
